Well i am on the mend, slowly i feel God healing me from this upper respiratory infection that i swear is causing me to rupture a lung. thank goodness God made me with a spare. Slept great last night and woke up feeling better. So i will take that and run with it. My first thought was to venture out and see what Oregon has to offer me, but then i said don't tempt it...give myself another day of taking it easy. Well that means i am headed to the local Good will Store to buy some sweaters to chop up and create some sweet boot warmers. i will try to post if they come out worthy of a picture. I am also going to stop in the local yarn store and start some Christmas gifts. Now that i finished my book and wait for the postman to bring me some more, i will keep my hands busy, knitting, sewing and cooking. that is the last stop i will make the local market, pick up some corn and of course some bacon and make a sweet tasty chowder. (minus the potato) ....well that's my morning and my day plan who knows i may be back later to share my progress. My hope for all of you is to enjoy this day for all it is, (as i type the sun just beamed onto my screen) yes it is a good day. say something sweet to someone you love, smile at a stranger...put the good out there it will come back to you..i promise.

I started this journey, or as i call it chapter not healthy body wise or emotionally. i break my life into chapters this is my fourth chapter....first chapter you are born and cared for lovingly (hopefully) by your family. Second chapter you branch out start school, make friends and build childhood memories (pleasant ones hopefully) third chapter you marry, start a family and raise your children with love, and strive to do a little better than the previous generation...well I am in chapter four as i said. i was born, made some terrific childhood friends who know my scars, (physical and emotional)and to this day still love me. they never really left my heart. I ran away from home first day of seventh grade and never looked back. that is where my foster family comes into play. Now that my children are grown, it is my turn to finally take care of myself. A close friend has taught me the gift of self care over the past twelve years, and i am still learning how to do it. i don't think i will ever stop learning, i am kind of liking this me stage. 
I began chapter four messed up, broken ..so it is time for me to get out my tools. I met this amazing woman her name is Julie and she gave me the tools to heal my inside, allowing my outside to change. I weighed close to two hundred and forty pounds was living on twenty six different meds to keep me alive. 
I met her, i listened, i absorbed every word she said every gesture locked int my mind. i don't know what i weigh, i will never know that number again as long as i am alive. i know i was a size tight 20/22. i had no neck, and when i look at pictures i see a person broken, hurt and left on the side of the road to find her way home.
i did find my way, my gps is grace, positive thought and serenity. I matter if not to the world then i matter to me. God created me, people broke me like a doll, when i was small (young) my nick name was bag of bones. i was so light that when struck i usually flew into the closest wall. so my protection was weight, the bigger i became the less i flew.i lost my wings sort of. I recall my father saying one day here comes your sisters boyfriend, and he reached out his hand as to gesture shaking a boys hand. he repeated this with my other two sisters...then he said here comes Laurie boyfriend, and he dragged his hands onto the floor as to imitate an animal a dog..
so i proved him wrong, i married a very handsome man, one who my family still shakes their heads and wonders what he sees in me. that kind of kick in the esteem of a girls heart, shatters it....along comes my tape, glue this time. there are no vi sable marks left to see. i am beautiful..i look in the mirror and see a little girl God created, and i know from reading His words, He creates all things in beauty. EVEN ME!
I wear a size 10/12 now i bought my first pair of skinny jeans a month ago and yes i am rocking them. I no longer take any medicine, no more high blood pressure no more diabetic my heart is healed. my body is mine for the first time and i am now responsible for it. i am not needing anyone to care for it, i feed it, i move it..it is me. I recently had the opportunity to get close to Jesus and for the first time in my life I get Him..I used to treat Him as a friend if i needed him he was there, he never left. Now i hold him close to my heart, he is my best friend. He knows all my secrets and He is the only one who knows where my cracks are.  I want wish for everyone to find that point in their life when chapter four comes into play, when you know there is so much more than just getting by, hanging on by your fingernails...i rather grip hold on and fly through each day. i got my wings back i no longer fly when struck my feet are planted on the ground...but when a small child passes me or i hold a new infant for the first time, they can sense my wings...they steady me.(and if i say so myself, they are beautiful..just like me)

Well Portland is showing it's true colors today. Rain. No need to whine about it, that what happens every now and then here. Like people who live in the East, I am from Massachusetts and nothing irritates me more than the people i hear complaining about the cold, the snow....you live in new England. its called WINTER..it happens every year. so in fact that if i didn't then you could complain. If i lived in Florida and it snowed eight inches then yeah..i get it. but every year you can count on snow, cold and yes sometimes ice and power outages. that why they sell candles, flash lights and heavy socks..So back today, it is raining and I am lucky enough that I don't need to go out, if I choose not to. See that word..CHOOSE. we make choices, no need to cry, bitch or complain. it is the choice you make. own it. live it. 
I decided to sit here by my wood stove and make a pot of chili, listen to some great christian music and read.
If your hankering for some chili, wishing you were here....then here is my recipe.
Simple Beef Chili
1 lean steak, 2 TB olive oil,1 large onion chopped. 2 Zucchini chopped, 2 big tomatoes chopped. salt and pepper, spices to taste 
So i sliced and cubed up the steak, browned it in the olive oil, then added the onion, zucchini and let brown getting all yummy. i added the tomatoes last with spices sprinkled on top. covered and letting it simmer. smells pretty yummy to me.
so lift your spoon say a prayer and hope yours comes out as good as mine did. 
If i knew how to post pictures i would post a pic it really looks great, hope it taste as great as it looks.

So here i am , creating just what the world needs another blog. Let me tell you a little bit about me. My name is Laurie i am 51 years young.

that's it that's me.

As for my blog, Tape, glue and cement. These are the things that can put us back together when we are broken or lost. (or just feeling like we need a band aid..one large enough to go from head to toe) I hope to post positive, uplifting phrases to help you through your day. Or sometimes just to get you from moment to moment.

I don't know it all, not even close. I don't come from a full of love family with no drama..there is drama..

My husband of twenty eight years is a good man, who loves me unconditionally but still we battle every day demons. Alcohol, the effects it has to destroy all that is good. I come from a family of nine children, was raised by a foster mother for my teen years and to this day she is my mom..

I have two daughters, that live three thousand miles away from me, my oldest due to have my first grand baby in January. my youngest who last year went through a major life change her spinal cord was crushed in the lower part resulting in surgery four bolts two metal bars and a spinal fusion. She battles with what that year cost her and the thought that having children may not be an option due to where her hardware sits in her body.

I have been in the baby business for the past thirty years...becoming a nanny, Douala, and present at eight births..that is a baby person. i love little people, on some days more than big people. My daughters are baby peeps too. my oldest in reproductive medicine, and my youngest a nanny..and i mean a nanny she rocks it way more talented than her mama.

So what my blog will be is what ever i feel like sharing which could be not too much to TMI..that is me. I shoot from the hip, and really don't filter my words..i probably should but that wouldn't be me if i did.